29 April 2006

king with a crown

one man is a hasidic reggae/rap sensation.
the other is a
can you spot the

so "soon" is a relative term...and “very” is merely an extension of said soon. appropriately enough, since my last substantive post was about the beginning of the semester, this will reflect the end.

the hell known as 1L is officially over for me in approximately 18 days. separating me and a few months of sweet freedom are two 8 hour review classes this weekend, three more classes next week, and four finals. the semester went by fairly well as far as class goes, property being the lone exception. while some of the material we covered in property could have been extremely interesting and relevant (on both personal and professional levels), the professor managed to suck any possibility of life, enthusiasm, or care straight out of my soul. he is without a doubt the most mundane, boring, and ultimately self-interested person i’ve ever encountered in an academic setting. he speaks of medieval european property rights more than american theory and caselaw. he comes to class totally unprepared. he takes the published words of judges and makes them his own more than any scared law student ever has. he explicitly speaks on topics that will not be covered on the exam more than on essential black letter issues. he plays the “what does this remind me of” game way too often (where livery of seisin [ask and i’ll explain] was supposed to immediately spark memories of the barry bonds homerun ball dispute). and, outside of my personal issues regarding his most recent attempt to make an ass out of me in class, when i asked him a question regarding the taxation of compensation for government takings, he prefaced his non-answer with “well, i’m not an expert…” great. the man teaching my property class, also up for tenure here and at another law school in the area, is a self-proclaimed amateur in the realm of property. to quote justice vblan: “idiot.”

the other classes, however, have been much much better. crim with decker couldn’t be anything but interesting and funny. when his hypotheticals involve sexual deviance at his “substantial estate,” cold-cocking the smallest kid in our class, or angel, a former “ice” using murderer turned scholar, the man is great. shaman’s con law, while dwelling way too long on equal protection and freedom of speech, is also quite engaging. afterall, the man is a noted expert in the areas of civil liberties and the former president of the illinois aclu…and he’s just funny…much in the manner that art “g money” geigel II was funny. that leaves contracts with matisyahu aged 50 resnicoff. just look at the man; how could you not love him?
outside of school, life has been great. made a lot of good close friends this year in chicago, ones that will definitely last a lifetime. it’s good to have a solid group of people who, on the surface, seem so different (yes vernon, i’m talking about you because you’re black) yet get along so well. granted, alcohol always helps out with that, as well as a deep obsession with ncaa football. but oh well, it works, and it’s nice to get away from all the intersectional bullshit that occurs everyday in class. paul was definitely right when he told me about the 1L experience – it’s like middle school, with beer. which is a bad idea.

perhaps the best news is my upcoming summer in greenville. i’ll be working at kathryn williams, p.a. for a few days a week, while picking up some part time job wherever it happens to present itself. in my free time, liz and i will be working on the house she purchased! definitely going to be a lot of fun – an extra bedroom, a big living room, the awesome sun porch, and a nice big yard for lucy to run around in. while we have a lot of projects planned for it, i imagine we’ll accomplish probably two major indoor and two major outdoor projects by the time the summer is over. i’m pretty sure i can speak for both of us when i say that this will be a much needed summer, and definitely the best yet. it’s just a taste of things to come in the future…speaking of which, while i’m not at liberty to mention the specifics, the future itself will be coming into play this summer as well. i’ve already said too much, so i’ll just move on. but anyways…greenville in the summer = warm days, cool nights, being with the girl i love, being with lucy, good friends, close to my brother and sister-in-law, experience in the legal field, and southern hospitality. love it, and i can’t wait.

countdown to a great summer weekend kickoff: 24 days until charlotte, 25 days until greenville/closing on the house, 27 days until we can move into the house, 28 days until the official move, 29 days until the coca-cola 600 in charlotte, and 32 days until my first day at the firm. can’t wait. can’t wait.

looking back at everything that’s happened in my life since coming to chicago, i can’t imagine it being more fulfilling and enriching. i’ve met so many different people, had experiences i couldn’t have imagined, gained a clearer perspective (and excitement) for my future, and felt that sense of accomplishment that so few can say they’ve felt. it’s been a hell of a year…in a good way.

28 March 2006

will update soon...very soon

14 February 2006


vernon: sit down.

01 February 2006

she wasn't really a nun, she was an actor.

First, the old classes:
  • Constitutional Process II: Jeffrey Shaman is back for round II, and it’s gone fairly well so far. We basically picked up where we left off last semester with equal protection and suspect classes, wrapping up race and moving on towards gender. The cases, for the most part, are the same as those I read as an undergrad; of course, deeper analysis is now required, as well as some additional reading with footnotes and supplemental cases. Seeing as how this was my best class grade-wise last semester, I’ve gained a new respect for the time I spend in there and have made more of an effort to talk to Prof. Shaman on an individual basis, seeing as how he is the St. Vincent DePaul Professor of Law here (something pretty amazing).

  • Contracts II: Good old Resi’ never ceases to amaze us with his quick wit, dry humor, and seemingly flawless transition from general grasp to complete mind fuck. But I love him for it, and I’m sure he loves us…right. On a serious note, my ability to get a handle on the material in studying for the final has given me a sense of optimism. No longer do I freak out when Resnicoff goes on his endless tangential rants in class, worrying how I’m going to manage to squeak into the bottom end of the curve come finals time. Instead, I’ve undertaken the labor of love that is the Uniform Commercial Code and Restatement (Second) of Contracts: reading through each pertinent section, understanding the language and cross-referencing with any included comments, rewriting in my own language, and then organizing according to topic. Dorky, but efficient, considering I don’t want finals in May to be as hellish as December’s.

  • LARC II aka legal writing, round II: I know that my career post-graduation will entail hardcore research and writing, but I’d at least appreciate a slight easing-into when it comes to the research assignments this semester. Oh well…sadly, in the back of my mind, I enjoy aspects of the research projects we’ve had so far; it’s a bit nostalgic to sift through the stacks in the library…and knowing that our two memos this semester entail real-life situations (meaning we aren’t handed caselaw with the client situation), it’s really helpful. I just hate starting the weekend off by spending 3+ hours in the library on one assignment. And don’t even get me started on the manner in which the TA has been grading the Bluebook assignments. Let’s just say when a question states “Should the prior history of [case cite, history] be cited? If so, show the proper cite.” I would assume that I don’t actually have to answer “Yes” to the first question, that should be implied by the fact that I actually went on to properly cite the cases with prior history. Thanks Al, you’re a scholar and a gentleman.

And now the new classes:
  • Criminal Law: Quite easily my favorite class so far. Professor Decker is quite funny, at least to me, and manages to hold my attention extremely well. And with the prospect of working for the Solicitor’s Office in Greenville (this is the case that currently eats up their time...exciting stuff) merely sparks that interest even further. It’s nice to have the opportunity to blend some of my undergrad background in social theory into criminal law as well, giving me a better insight into the important theories of punishment and codification of certain laws. Un/Fortunately, depending on how you view the matter, Decker also wrote the book on Illinois Criminal Law…literally. And not just a text book, or commentary…but the actual compilation of Illinois Criminal Law, complete with commentary and textual analysis. For those of you that don’t know what this means, it pretty much guarantees one hell of a final exam. But, as I’ve said, I’m excited, and that should spur my study habits in that area.

  • Property: Quite boring as of lately, but at least Professor Mitchell acknowledges that fact and does his best to make it interesting. Hopefully by the time we move past theory, the caselaw will begin to become a bit more pertinent to current matters; something like the Kelo case will definitely be coming our way, but not for a while. I actually ran into Mitchell on the L last night as we were headed to our basketball game. He’s a nice guy to talk to outside of class, although catching him on his way home showed that he prefers to leave his work at the office, but not in a bad way. After all, making yourself available in the law building until 630 every night, plus doubling as a professor at UW-M law school and going through your tenure review probably don’t add to the excitement of seeing 1Ls outside of the law school setting.

Anywho…that’s the semester so far, and I’m enjoying for the most part. I’ve been hanging out with Vernon and JM a lot more, which is nice. As far as other things go, I’m getting the ball rolling with some big life plans, as well as trying to find a clerk position this summer in Greenville. Speaking of Greenville, I can’t wait for spring break: Liz, Tracy, Mark, and I are all going to spend about 4 days at a cabin on Lake Keeowee, which will be a great time. But it’s late, and I need to get up early tomorrow to work out, so it’s off to bed (and a lovely single bed it is)…until the next time, sit down.

12 January 2006

it's winding down, but it's been much needed and appreciated. my first semester of law school is in the past, and i've been enjoying my time off here in south carolina with liz and lucy. basically, with liz at work until five or so, my days have been consumed by resumes and cover letters. i've sent out about seven or eight so far, with one "informational" interview last week. it went really well and is with the firm that i would absolutely love to work for, even if they don't have any positions available for this sumer. while i was nervous going in, the interview turned out really well; i spoke with marshall winn, a partner at the wyche firm here in greenville, for about an hour. we covered anything and everything related to law and practicing in greenville, as well as law school, my personal life, relationships, and the potential for future employment. i left with a great feeling, as he complimented me on my preparation and the quality of questions i had asked. i went to the hospital to help liz work for the rest of the day. her two bosses, after hearing about my interview, were amazed that a) marshall would give me time considering there weren't any positions available, and b) that we had spoke for over and hour. so that was a nice booster as well. as for the other firms, i've received responses that i need to have my undergrad and law school transcripts in to them, so they don't start interviewing until mid-february. and, finally, i sent my information out to the solicitor's office here. in talking with the assistant solicitor, it sounds like an amazing and interesting position. it's funny how i would always talk with jm, charlie, and nick about how i wouldn't want to go into criminal law, but it's sounding extremely interesting at this point. but we'll see...as i said, i still have to get my grades and transcripts in before anything further takes place.

as for the rest of my time, i've been watching movies, and some mighty fine ones at that:

scenes from a marriage
happy endings
must love dogs
in the bedroom
love actually

and several others...coming up are:

born into brothels

when not watching those movies with liz, i've been reading
john perkin's confessions of an economic hitman...severely enthralling to me, at least, with my interest in foreign policy making. in the queue is levitt and dubner's freakonomics. not surprisingly, after the hellish amounts of reading i'd done over the last few months for school, i thought some pleasure reading would be the last thing on my mind. however, i've found it quite enjoyable to be able to read something of my own choosing...it's sparking the imagination to say the least, while providing entertainment.

anywho...that's pretty much been it. in the evenings, liz and lucy and i have been watching the aforementioned movies, cooking dinner, and spending time with tracy. last weekend we went up to charlotte for the night to stay with matt in his new apartment. hopefully the condo sells soon and cheryl can get down to charlotte to be with him, you can tell it's hard for them to be apart, as well as for matt to be in a new job and town without anyone at his side. while in town, we went out to wild wings for, well, wings, and some beer. we just spent the rest of the night at his apartment watching movies. sunday we drove around charlotte and relaxed before liz and lucy and i headed back to greenville. monday morning liz and i woke up and drove to columbia for an event her public relations firm was handling. i helped set everything up, which took about 4 hours (crazy stuff, definitely not the job for me) and then headed out. drove around town, stumbled into the career services office at usc law (not helpful at all), then called paul (liz's coworker's boyfriend, a student at usc law). headed over to his place for a while. it was good to talk to him about anything and everything. we grabbed some dinner at rockaway's, which was amazing, then just watched hockey and chatted until we went back to the convention center to help clean up after the event. finished up around 10 or so, then liz and i headed back to greenville. it was a good time overall, even if there was a bit of stress. now i'm just hanging out with lucy, planning on grabbing a quick shower then reading out on the porch until liz gets home (it's probably 65 here today, and hasn't been much colder since i got here...need to hurry up and graduate so i can move down here)...i've only got a few more days until i head back to chicago for round two of the 1L experience. wish me luck...

19 December 2005

and watch them fall.

one semester is finally in the books, and, from where i'm standing, it went fairly well. this evaluation comes, of course, without the knowledge of any grades, so we'll see what surprises february has in store for me, if any, along those terms. but anyways...

friday was conlaw, the last final of the semester. much like the other exams, it took about the full three hours. i left fairly confident, spoke with a few friends, then went down to mondays for a pitcher with charlie and matt. finished that, chatted it up with the aforementioned, as well as rob, vernon, and various other randos from section c, then i bowed out for a nap. unfortunately, the nap was interrupted around 5 or so by the shouting of the phrase "smoke the sticky icky," laced with a thick african accent. woke up, went to the living room to find about seven or eight people drinking and yelling about finals. i grabbed a beer. fortunately, jason was also woken up by the commotion, so he and i decided to grab some dinner. unfortunately, the dinner offerings at the lovely ucc were horrendous, so we braved the cold and grabbed a sandwich from potbelly, which hit the spot. i managed to relax and get some laundry done after dinner, then it was just waiting for the night to end because...

e and miller came to chicago. sorry for the lack of enthusiam miller, it's nothing personal. but yes, e and miller came to town. so i hopped in the shower and was going to meet them at miller's sister's apartment up in river north. called e, and they decided to head to the bar....but didn't give me a name or address, just a simple "find me bitch." that's the e that i've come to love. hopped the train, found them, and the night began. it was great to catch up and see some familiar faces, especially those that made my days at miami unforgettable. we basically spent the night hopping between four bars, drinking beer, having laughs, and the occasional shot of jager. we finished the night at the slc with a cigar and some rusty nails (so bad but so good). showed e and miller my apartment, let them warm up a bit, then they were out by around 5...which gave me enough time to get two hours of sleep, wake up, pack, and hit the train to south bend. not too bad. but it was great to hang out with them, and e said he'll definitely be coming back in town next semester.

now it's just relaxation...working out in the mornings, afternoons are free. back to chicago the 26th, then south carolina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on the 27th. cannot wait to spend so much time with liz and lucy, have mom and dad come see greenville, and spend new years with matt and cheryl in greenville....

10 December 2005

first order of business: combining my love of conan and walker with my hatred of haley joel osment.

second order: i swear i'm not an alcoholic.

so the torts exam went fairly well on friday. the only setbacks came in the multiple choice and true/false sections, thanks to the atrociously written questions. i understand an exam is geared at testing knowledge and application of theory, but these questions seemed to test my ability to break down a rather poorly written situation, rebuild it to some sort of grammatical sense, and then try my best to analyze situations with several key facts omitted. the essay section, on the other hand, was quite easy; the short essays i felt i nailed, while the long essay was simply a clusterf*** of about 13 potential legal claims, 9 of which were valid. at least in my response they were.

anywho, after the exam i sold back my torts book (let's hear it for $30 in my pocket, even though $25 of that went directly towards the purchase of a contracts supplement) then hit up the bed for a nap. 7 hours later i woke up and hung out with jm and charlie for the remainder of the evening, all while sipping on some delicious guinness. i must confess, however, the guinness was purchased with an ulterior motive: while i do enjoy a good drink, i also wanted to make sure i put myself in that "sleepy/buzzed/warm" stage to ensure a good night of sleep.

today has been a rather productive day. woke up, did some much needed laundry, a good dinner with vernon, jason, and the three crazy girls, and now contracts. i'm starting to feel a bit better about the pending final on tuesday, but we'll see how quickly that changes as time slowly drips away.

in news related-yet-not-related to my denial of alcoholism, i received a little package from my parents today. in it was your stock "encouragement during finals" card, a starbucks gift card (to fuel the fire...i think as of this year my blood is now 68% coffee), and a chocolate disc in the shape of a pill. i unwrapped the chocolate and written on it is "valyum." i love that my parents are coming around to my sense of humor. i know they'll be completely on my side when they send me an empty bottle of actual valium. delicious irony.

anywho, back to the contracts. if i finish this review book tonight, i may reward myself with a guinness and a movie.

okay, i'll be honest with myself. i'm gonna have a guinness and watch a movie no matter what. but i really do want to finish this book. wish me luck, the countdown continues:

contracts final: 3 days
con law final/total annihilation via alcohol: 6 days
a-town: 8 days
ahs alumni hockey game: 13 days
my birthday/greenville/interviews for summer positions at firms: 17 days!

08 December 2005

New Tort: Being a Lazy Bastard

That’s what my pals in section c are pushing for.  Here’s the rundown on why it sucks to be them right now, and why I’m thankful I have (overly) competent professors:

Their final for torts is comprised of a take-home essay and an in-class exam of 20 multiple choice questions.  The multiple choice is apparently ridiculous, as the professor said he expects the mean to be around 10, most likely 9, and that it doesn’t test knowledge from class but is rather a pseudo-bar exam.  Bad enough as it is.  But now, the section rep found out that a lot of kids in the section had that answers to the take home as it was the same case from last year.  So the rep goes to the dean and tells him about everything that’s going on…and now they don’t know if the take-home portion is going to be a part of the final exam, leaving them with that lovely multiple choice to determine their grade.  The best part, you ask?  Their class might just end up being pass/fail.  Doesn’t sound all that bad, but think of the potential interview for a summer position:

Firm: “So, I see you got a P in torts.  What’s that all about?”
Section C: “Well, it’s my professor’s fault.”
F: “Really.  Care to explain how that works out?” *Mentally rips resume in half*
C: “Well, this is what happened. (Explains).  Sadly, I really felt I would have gotten an A in the class too.”
F: “Right. Well, it was great to talk to you.  I’m sure I’ll see you on my lunch breaks this summer.  Don’t let the fries cook too long, I don’t like them when they’re crunchy.”

Sadly, it’s given me a renewed sense of life in terms of studying for my torts final tomorrow.  However, I really don’t feel any urgency in the situation…I’m (in my mind, at least) solid when it comes to torts.  I just want to knock this one out and then get into contracts.  That’s where I’m going to have the most difficulty, thanks to good old Resi.  Hopefully he’ll be outside the door to offer his blessings (he’s an ordained rabbi).

Back to the torts study-a-thon…

07 December 2005

civ pro down. not sure how i feel about it.

but i do know that i have three finals and a week and a half separating me from a month off. gotta study torts now, otherwise i'm liable to provide some answers on my exam that are grossly negligent. ha. stupid tort humor.

05 December 2005

so it's been an interesting first exam period for this 1L in chicago...

- been studying for civ pro since tuesday of last week, including:
- two outlines
- practice exam
- ungodly amounts of hypotheticals
- some light reading
- done a little bit for torts
- light outlining
- more hypotheticals
- practice exams

in all honesty, i've studied more for my civ pro exam than i have for any set of finals as an undergrad. fortunately, i've reached the point with this exam where i'm nervous, but still comfortable. i feel as though i've done what i can, i've got a great grasp of the material, so all that's left for me is finalizing my notes, doing a little more reading, and getting a good night of sleep...although i'm highly suspect on that last one.

still can't stop thinking about my much-needed break coming up: going home for a few days, spending a lot of time with liz in greenville, matt (and soon cheryl) moving to charlotte, the parents finally coming down to greenville, and new years with matt and cheryl. unfortunately, two weeks, four exams, and christmas shopping still stand in my way.

but enough of that...time for a little break, then back for one final civ pro push.

p.s. if anyone (jess) wants to tell me about the b&d christmas party, i'd love to hear.

02 December 2005

so the stress levels are finally working their way back down to pre-aneurysm levels, which is nice. however, this still doesn't change the fact that finals start on tuesday and i need to keep working on outlines, study guides, and brewing coffee. after my most recent episode, i think i'm going to limit my red bull intake to one can a day, if that. don't need to be wiggin out while trying to type anymore, it's really counterproductive.

yet i still can't stop thinking about the time after finals are over: matt and cheryl moving to charlotte, me being in greenville with liz, and no work (for the most part...damn you contracts and conlaw). it's hard to avoid these thoughts in my head, yet, they keep me from getting too stressed. but they also tend to keep me from getting a lot of work done.

i think i need erin to call me with one of her "success" cheers.

and i know i need to work. hopefully i'll wrap things up by 2 or so tonight, then see if anyone wants to head over to the slc and grab a few beers and play some darts. i hope.

01 December 2005

the things i've learned in law school (outside of civil procedure)

1. energy drinks named after male anatomy (bawls) do not taste good. i'm not looking forward to the release of cawk either.
2. the combination of one red bull, one 20oz. mountain dew, and five cups of coffee makes my hands shake like michael j. fox.
3. journey's "loving touchin squeezin" is some great study music.
4. i can successfully go three and a half days without sleep before i really start to get messed up.
5. expecting more than 4 hours of sleep on any given night is just ridiculous.
6. when the academic calendar says classes are done for the semester on wednesday, i'll continue to have class and new material until the friday after that.
7. all work and no b&d makes me weak.
8. any professor that tells me "not to worry about finals" is a total assclown.
9. the general consensus is that life around here sucks.

and finally...

10. all work that i do in the semester doesn't mean shit when it comes time for finals. i have to relearn everything and ignore about 95% of the notes i took on every single case i've read up to this point.

back to outlining for exams.

28 November 2005

this is terrible.

it's the week before finals start. i'm supposed to have class until wednesday and then the "reading period" starts thursday. but what do my genius professors decide on doing? oh, we'll have class through friday like any other normal week. and we'll be covering new stuff through the end of the week. just what i need, considering i spent all thanksgiving week freaking out about school, getting depressed, anxious, nervous, and anything else that remotely resembles these emotions.

you'll be able to recognize me from this point until december 16th because i'll be walking around downtown chicago with my pants around my ankles, praying that it's over soon.

the worst part about all of this is that i'm so excited to spend time with liz over christmas break. i try to push those thoughts out of my mind, but it's hard not to. why is it that the only thoughts that comfort me distract me from getting my shit done? i love you god.

21 November 2005


this is becoming a more and more attractive alternative to writing my final memo for legal writing. there's nothing quite like approximately 3000 words regarding a potential client's case and exculpatory clauses...it has a certain zest to it that just makes me giddy for wire cutters and rugby.

by the way, legal writing is paradoxically neither legal nor writing. you must refrain from using legal jargon and rule language, and you don't actually write. you plug facts and rules into a formula, spit it out (quite repetitively, actually), and turn it into your supervising attorney (aka prof) only to get it ripped apart. reminiscent of the red army's wwII tactic of scorched earth.

but back to it...i've got about 1000 more words to fit in two issues and a conclusion. please god let this work out.

15 November 2005

it's official.

my legal writing professor thinks i'm a total moron. that bumps up the total on the "professors that think i'm a total moron" scale to three. i'm happy with the hat-trick, but i'd rather go for a complete sweep...gotta work on the conlaw and civ pro professors, but that shouldn't be all that difficult since, apparently, i'm a total moron.

13 November 2005

if law school is hell, then barbri reviews are the devil incarnate.

fresh off of missing the torts review on saturday, i vowed that i would in fact not go out saturday evening (easily done seeing as how i have no cash), making my attendance at the contracts review on sunday my top priority. needless to say, i woke up this morning, showered, and was out the door by 9 or so to grab some breakfast and walk over to chicago-kent. i arrived in plenty of time with my cup of mcdonald's coffee (which tastes like three day old reheated coffee mixed with dirt) and ready for a day of contracts.

never again. on the whole, the review was helpful; it explained most of the concepts in class quite clearly compared to my own professor and gave me a great start on an outline for the exam. unfortunately, there were a lot of things covered that were completely irrelevant or even contrary to what i have been taught. having to sit through 7-plus hours of a man talking ridiculously slowly, repeating himself four or five times, all while making hypotheticals involving batman, robin, sharon stone, and a 1973 lincoln (kinky, eh?) was a severe strain on both my mind and body. i was more than happy to get the hell out of there, even if it was already dark and unusually windy for chicago.

my hat blew off as i crossed south wacker on my way home. apparently the entrance the lower wacker creates quite a wind tunnel. hm.

anyways, i got back to my apartment, had some dinner, and relaxed for a little bit. got some reading done, took a nap, and now i'm back at the reading again. hopefully i'll finish up contracts for tomorrow, maybe get a start on torts. it's going to be a hellish week: much reading to do (as always) combined with the desire to get a significant portion of my final memo done means i've really got to lean towards sacrificing those three hours of sleep i've come to adore each night.

in other news, cjmanhole's brother and sister-in-law are moving to charlotte. after spending a weekend there with liz (would it be wrong of me to refer to her in my blog as "my ruth bader-ginsburg"...yes, i think it would. i'll have to think of something more appropriate.), my brother decided to take the position he's been offered and things are now in the works for him to move down shortly after christmas. watch out debutantes and gentlemen, the manhole clan is headed south.

11 November 2005

everybody's working for the weekend.

and right now, security is working on getting my friends out of the elevator they're currently stuck on. that's what they get for not letting me on.

02 November 2005

who would have thought that actually getting work done at a reasonable hour would give me a sense of accomplishment and relief? strange.

yeah, so i've turned a new page in the world of getting my shit together at law school. no more going home from class, napping for a few hours, then hitting the books. it all started monday when i decided that, instead of sleeping after class, i'd get some stuff done. packed my bag and headed up to the north side to try to find some boots for the winter weather. after stopping in four outfitters and much walking, i managed to not find anything. at least i got some good exercise in (4 hours of walking is good, right?). headed home, and, fighting the urge to nap, i got work done and into bed at a reasonable hour. i tried it again on tuesday. a little zen meditation session after civ pro (thanks erin), a short stop in at the legal writing prof's office hours, then off to barnes and noble cafe for some coffee and work. pumped out the components of my memo, finished my reading for torts, and headed on out. it was great to sit in my apartment at 8 and know the only thing i had to do was a final edit/print, a short writing comp exercise, and re-skimming my reading. getting done early also proved beneficial when my printer, in a show of pure defiance, decided to change the default black/white print scheme to purple and teal, reminiscent of the early 90s. then it changed to pure red. Yes, it has ink. after much troubleshooting and attempted repair, i gave my printer the evil eye and managed to find other means...

legal writing was interesting today, thanks to a member of my presentation group thinking it would be appropriate to write a poem (from this point forward, he will be known in my posts as "the racial profiler," assuming he doesn't provide us with any other fun facts about himself). got out a few minutes early, grabbed some lunch with mr. bull (yes, that's his actual last name. he's a hilarious individual from the ozarks, you have to meet him to believe him.). shot the stuff for a while, reminisced about pj's class, then headed back to the apartment for a quick reading of bmw v. gore prior to torts. class was...well, disappointing. i know she had to cancel on monday, but she could plan out the rest of the week a little more efficiently. we spent about 30 minutes "reviewing" the cases from last wednesday, and then an hour on four of the cases today (which, not including footnotes/endnotes and related materials, equated approximately 15-20 pages of reading). of course, the main case for today, the bmw case, of which we were required to read the full text of the opinion, was given five minutes: two minutes for debating what to do next, then three minutes of her summarizing the case. thanks. i'll remember that when i fill out your tenure review at the end of the semester.

but i digress. originally i had intended on going to staple's after class to get a new printer, but was convinced by daniel, geoff, kenny, kari, and (insert girl's name that i forgot here) to grab a drink and some food at miller's. i'm extremely glad i went. very briefly, it was nice to enjoy the company of people that are intelligent and have the same observations of classes, professors, groups, and individuals that i do. it was nice to give my cynically smart asshole side a chance to run freely; i have been subduing that part of me until i was able to find an appropriate situation to unleash the fury. the beer was good too.

after the fun, i continued on to staple's, bought my printer, came home, installed, tested, etc etc. finished up the reading, and am now just watching some television before heading to bed.

i've decided to harness the distance separating liz and i, as well as my desire to be in greenville both for the summer and on a more permanent basis. while i could very easily let it bring me down, i can also use it to push myself to do my best. i'll take option two. love liz to bits, and she deserves it.

28 October 2005


you know it's bad when even rush limbaugh doesn't support you as a conservative. while i'm thoroughly pleased at harriet miers' decision (read this dad: that whole "no one likes a quitter, son" was bullshit, wasn't it?) , i would have been thrilled to witness her dodging questions on the senate floor. hopefully george gets his shit together and listens to his advisers in reaching another decision on a new appointee. just because everyone expects you to pick a minority or a female doesn't mean you just throw names in a hat. take some time to make this right. this, besides the war, is a chance to guide the history of our nation. don't blow it (blow. you've had experience with that in college haven't you?).

attorney-client privilege may save you now, harriet, but jeebus knows the truth...

24 October 2005

Separation of church and state includes this jackass.

Call me a loser, but I love this pun…and think Pat Robertson deserves to be bitch slapped. I’m sure Hugo Chavez would love to do the honors.

“Judge not lest ye be judged.”

17 October 2005

i know this may sound like me reverting back to my neo-conservative ways in my early miami-era, but stil...

to the homeless people outside (with the exception of tre):
i appreciate your concern for my well-being, as well as your attempts to pass your knowledge on to me, a 22 year old white male from rural/suburban ohio. but do you honestly think i'm going to adhere to your advice on life? no offense, but you're homeless. yes, asshole comment. but still, why would i follow your words? general commentary on life is great, i appreciate opinion and experience. but i don't appreciate you telling me what i should do. no shit i should stay in school. no shit i should study hard. no shit i shouldn't be gangbanging (is that a verb?), slinging the rock (my personal favorite), smoking trees, etc...although i do love a good hickory smoked salmon. you may be right on that one.

you want me to help you. i want to help you. but let's be honest. i need my money to pay rent and bills, to provide myself with the necessities of life (and yes, alcohol is a necessity. i'm in law school damnit.), and to take care of my own business. did i mention the phrase "student loans" or possibly the concept of "interest?" well, if i didn't, then maybe i should. maybe i should be asking you for money.

don't blame me for your homelessness. i'm trying to make it better. get back to me in three years when i'll be changing the world. in the words of waye brady, "is wayne brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"

yeah, i don't know what that means, but my brain is fried. back to the office memo.

bad bush. bad. what a waste of a perfect opportunity to balance the court with experience and sound political views. so what do you do? you pick some worthless bastard that doesn't even have judicial experience. but hey, she's counsel for the white house, and that's important, right? ha. why isn't she representing mr. rove?

anyways. that's about all for now. saw my first official chicago-style ass-whooping last night when two kids got the crap kicked out of them in front of my building.

in other news, i managed to read all 100some-odd pages for torts as well as my contracts stuff last night. feeling relieved in class that i had freed up some time for my legal writing discussion, i wanted to confirm my meeting time for that class. turns out it's tuesday at 1pm, not wednesday. what does this mean? well, first and foremost, it means i have to get my shit together and finish a decent rough draft of a solid portion of an office memo tonight. it also means that i have to reschedule my meeting with career services. wednesday's no good for that, seeing as how i have a meeting for international law journal. so it gets moved to thursday...which is already jammed full, since i want to get a good amount of work done before the weekend and i have phi alpha delta initiation thursday evening. i love this stuff.

for your amusement. reminds me of the snl skit "old french whore."

new job posting: 22 yr old male 1L seeking personal assistant/human punching bag. dictation, typing skills desirable, but not necessary. must be physically able to withstand severe blows to the head. hemophiliacs need not apply. starting salary: whatever you can scrape up from under my couch cushions. shitty hours, nonexistent benefits. shit rolls downhill.

10 October 2005

Law School = 3 year long AA meeting

Another weekend for the record books.

Friday was the SBA Boat Cruise.  After much confusion about the appropriate attire (which, I later found out didn’t exist, thanks to the rather skanky 2 and 3Ls), JM, Natalie?, Rob, Mark, and I headed out to catch the boat.  It was a great time…the concept of an open bar is great.  Even greater is the concept of cocktail waitresses that serve you beer while you’re waiting in line at the bar.  The concept that’s not so great?  High winds out on Lake Michigan meant the boat listed a good two to three feet the entire time.  Not being able to find a table, Erin and I spent most of the night with one hand on our drinks and the other firmly grasping the balcony railing.  It was humorous to see people falling over, both from the alcohol and the waves.  And the dance floor moved with the boat, providing some amusement as well.  Deciding to “wait” on dinner was a genius idea too.  Jeff, Erin, and I were all pretty much gone by 815 (the cruise started at 7).  I ended up finding a table and some non-alcoholic beverages to put myself back in shape.  At the same time, I shared a drink and some conversation with the law school chaplain, then made a good contact with Professor Chase, an international law professor (the same man that Jeff claims lost his position at the Naval War College for being a spy).  Right.

The boat ended up pulling into port an hour early due to the rough conditions, giving everyone time to realize how sober they really were and take advantage of the open bar.  Jeff, Erin, and I ended up just sitting with each other and talking for the rest of the night.  Afterwards, everyone was headed out on the town, but I wanted to go home and talk to Liz, seeing as how she had had a disappointing day.  Jeff, Erin, and I walked a few blocks before I hailed them a cab (Erin’s South Carolina blood is way too thin; I thought she was going to have hypothermia), then walked a few more blocks and caught one for myself.  Liz and I spoke on the phone for a while, which was really nice.  I hope she can make it down for the next cruise.

Saturday was a rather good day as well.  Our section’s flag football team did some heavy recruiting in the previous week (they got slaughtered by the undergrads last weekend), and we all met up in Old Town for a little “practice” on Saturday afternoon.  Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t go out to Hang Up’s after the boat cruise.  Here’s a little taste of what happened:

Don: Slipped, fell into the bar.  Sliced his head open from just above his eye, curving down to just past the outside corner of his eye.  While walking outside to get checked by an EMT, he passed out, fell on the sidewalk, and cracked open his head.

Brian:  Got into a fight with a bouncer and was kicked out.  Came back, almost got into a fight again.  Had a date for the evening, a “friend with benefits/hook-up buddy” as he described it.  Was disappointed.  We asked why.  While they made out, he said things were different after Don also made out with her.  Don apologized, said any recollection or reasonable action was beyond his ability at that point in time.

Jaime:  Jaime lives in Lincoln Park.  Yet he got in the cab with Jeff and Erin, which was headed to Erin’s house in the 1200 south block of Indiana.  (For those of you not from Chicago, Lincoln Park starts around 1600 north).  Being totally gone, Jaime was just yelling in drunken Spanish.  After Jeff and Erin got out, Jeff told the cab where to go and gave him some money.  The cab decided to stop in the middle of downtown and charge Jaime $20.  Of cource, being drunk and Jaime, he decided he wouldn’t pay.  Jaime got out, telling the cab to basically fuck himself, and left.  He also managed to leave his wallet in the cab.  Apparently the driver was hungry: he charged a few pizzas and some gas to Jaime’s card.

Mandy: Mandy opened up a tab and told Brian he could drink on it.  Brian bought a few rounds.  Well, $180 worth of rounds.

Jeff and Erin…well, I promised Jeff I wouldn’t say anything about what happened.  Let’s just say that, after class today as Erin and I were headed to get some coffee, she just looked at me and said something to the effect of, “You know what happened with Jeff and I?  Okay, good.  Let’s not make things anymore awkward than they have to be.”  Disclaimer: There were no “relations” involved in this part of the evening.  But still an awkward situation.

God things were awkward.  (We all sit next to each other in pretty much every class except legal writing, and we all hang out in between classes).

Basically, practice on Saturday turned out to be an 8 person collaboration on what happened to everyone.  Sadly, there still weren’t enough people to fill in all the gaps left by head injuries and black-outs.

Sunday was game time.  We won our first game against another 1L team, but lost the second game to the 3Ls.  We’ve got a lot of work to do, but I must say there are some fucked up rules for this flag football league.  We got called for encroachment.  ENCROACHMENT IN FLAG FOOTBALL. What the hell.  If penalties were a measure of success, we’d be like the ’85 Bears doing the Super Bowl Shuffle.

After all of that, the team, or what was left of it, grabbed some food at Lincoln Station and then headed our separate ways.  I managed to get very little done for class this weekend.  But, I did come away feeling like someone beat me with a baseball bat, so that’s a plus.  And, after assuming I wouldn’t get called on in Torts (since I didn’t do the reading and God loves me), I got called on. Apparently I did well though, since Goodwin told me after class that I, well, did well.

The countdown begins:  Approximately 946 days until law school is over.  So close I can taste it.

Or maybe that’s my own blood that I taste, law school seems to have that effect on me.

30 September 2005


In reference to a student saying she’s for states’ rights, being from the south:

“You may be for states’ rights, but you lost.”
  • Prof. Jeffrey Shaman

This is the first day that he’s actually been interesting, upbeat, and has captivated the attention of many.  Wow.

29 September 2005

A word of advice to law students

Disclaimer:  I’m sure I acted in a similar manner when I was at this point in my life too, but I’m not at that stage in my life anymore.  Therefore, I’m better than you, and I can find you as obnoxious as I want.

I hate living in a building with undergrads.  My night is winding down early tonight (115a), and all these freaking twelve-year olds are running around here like it’s romper room.  If I hear any more comments about how sweet that party in 1432a was, how it was so incredibly sweet that Steve brought that 30 pack of stones in without getting caught, or questions about what year I am in school, I’m going to have to dip into that bad heroin that’s been going around the building.

BTW…apparently, to art/drama/music students, the fact that I am wearing my high school hockey hoodie, which clearly states the year (1999-2000) means that I now play hockey at Robert Morris.

hitler banned books

It's Banned Books Week. This is a list of the 100 most frequently challenged books of 1990-2000. The ones I have read are bolded. (list courtesy of marykaykare)1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz2. Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling (I'm up to book 4)8. Forever by Judy Blume9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger14. The Giver by Lois Lowry15. It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker19. Sex by Madonna20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel - the first book only. I found it boring.21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard27. The Witches by Roald Dahl28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry30. The Goats by Brock Cole31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane32. Blubber by Judy Blume33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam 35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison40. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee42. Beloved by Toni Morrison43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard46. Deenie by Judy Blume47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice) 54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole55. Cujo by Stephen King56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis61. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher65. Fade by Robert Cormier66. Guess What? by Mem Fox67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding71. Native Son by Richard Wright72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen74. Jack by A.M. Homes75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle77. Carrie by Stephen King78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez87. Private Parts by Howard Stern88. Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

28 September 2005

Do you suffer from diabetes?

Yet another reason I cannot wait to move into my own apartment next year…

The lazy bastards at the mail room should have to pay for my shipping from now on, especially when I’m expecting a package by a certain date.  Case in point: I ordered some supplemental material for contracts and conlaw on Sunday, arranging the shipping so they would arrive today (Wednesday).  Checking the status on UPS.com, I was happy to see that they had been delivered today at 4pm.  Package pick up goes from 4-7pm in the mailroom here.  So, I have some dinner, and head on over to the mailbox to get my package slip.  Only it’s missing.  And it’s 655pm.  Hm.  I take a gander in the mailroom, and I see my package sitting right there, all nice and neat and waiting for me to tear it open.  I bring this to the attention of the mailroom worker, pointing out bits of information such as the fact that I was expecting it today, delivery was confirmed online, I paid for shipping, etc.  Turns out these points are only relevant to me.  Her words?  

Bitch in the mail room (BITMR): “Well, you don’t have a package slip, so I can’t help you until you have one.”
Me: “Where are the slips from the packages that came today?”
BITMR: “In my hand.” (She was putting them in the mailboxes as we spoke)
Me: “So the way it works is you wait until 7 to deliver the notifications, at which point it’s too late for me to pick up my package which I paid for and am expecting today?”
BITMR: “It takes a while to do this, so-“
Me: “How long? You started working at 4pm, right?  So it takes you 3 hours to pass all those out?”
BITMR: “It’s harder than it looks.  And you don’t have to get your package…”
Me: “Actually, I do.  But if you want to pay for the shipping, that’d be great.  And how do you know I don’t desperately need the contents of the package?  What if I told you I have diabetes and these are my supplies from Colonial Medical?  You’ve seen that commercial, with the guy from Our House, Wilford Brimley?”
BITMR: “You can’t be seri-“
Me: “Oh my god! I’m going into shock! HURRY!”

It goes on for a few more ridiculous minutes.  In the end, I made her realize that her laziness could be affecting countless lives.  And I got my package.  Word.

26 September 2005


XXXXXmandle: how was class today
eman1613: good
eman1613: had a guest teacher in torts
XXXXXmandle: was it interesting
eman1613: yeah
XXXXXmandle: torts just sounds like a pie to me
eman1613: lol

I love my mom.

I'm gonna kick some tort ass

This, my friends, is why I love torts:

Notes following a case regarding the standard of care for a professional in negligence…

The service provider may choose to provide a guarantee, which would be enforceable through contract law.  Absent such an express contract for a particular result, the cause of action is in tort…What about an attorney’s statement that if client’s liquor license was not granted by the Liquor Control Commission, he would ‘kick ass’ at the court of appeals? McComas v. Bocci, 166 Or. App. 150, 996 P.2d 506 (2000) (attorney had denied making statement and court found that statement, if made, constituted a gratuitous prediction that attorney had no contractual duty to produce).

     - From Prosser, Wade, and Schwartz’s Torts, Eleventh Edition

25 September 2005

Sunday Bloody Sunday

If there was ever a time that I didn’t want to feel emotionally and physically drained, this would be it.  Sadly, law school doesn’t give a shit, so I’ve got to keep on keepin’ on.

The past week went fairly well, as far as classes and daily routine was concerned.  Wednesday after torts, two girls from our section arranged with the owner of Monday’s to give us $8 pitchers and $3 mixed drinks, so about 50-60 of us ended up downstairs after class.  It was nice to relax and spend time with the people I’m with all day every day, yet in a completely different setting and context.  Talked to a lot of people, both the usual and new, and ended up not worrying about law school for a while.  And you can’t beat the fact that, somehow, I managed to pay $15 and had about three pitchers.  Good stuff.  Everyone headed out by about 7:30, wanting to go up to Kincaid’s, which wasn’t happening for me (thanks to the sinus infection, stomach, and zyrtec).  So I walked over to the brown line stop with Jeff, Erin, and Terry, then headed back to the apartment…where I promptly fell asleep until the next morning.  It sucked not being able to get work done, but the sleep was amazing and needed.

The aftermath was hilarious: Contracts Thursday morning was about half empty, and those that were there were clearly hurting.

The rest of the week went off without a hitch…until Friday.

While not wanting to get into the details, Liz and I went through some terrible times on Friday.  Not for any real reason or fault of either of us, just stress and distance catching up all at once.  Fortunately, we came out on the other side, and I think everything is gonna be alright.

Friday night I met up with Jeff and his buddies from Notre Dame at Blue Bayou.  His friend Luke was playing, so I told him I’d come out and see what was going on.  It was a good time, minus thoughts of the issue above.  Had a few beers, talked with Jeff about class and all that, and just took it easy.  Luke was really good too, played a lot of great music.  Headed home around midnight, but not before a stop for a burrito in Wrigleyville.

Saturday was the day of rest.  Woke up, watched the OSU and Notre Dame games, then just sat in the apartment with no agenda.  Being lazy is great, especially on a gray day.  I think my only real accomplishment was finishing my season on NCAA Football.  13-0, National Champs, Big Ten Champs, Heismann Trophy, HB of the Year, Offensive Player of the Year.  My existence is so sad…

Today has been decent.  Went to Caribou to have some coffee and get work done.  It was going fairly well until the Bears game ended.  At that point, about 60 people came in trying to use the bathroom in a span of about 20 minutes.  The noise, along with a sudden problem with my stomach, forced me to come back to the apartment.  Since then, I’ve changed into the sweatpants, had some dinner, and watched Blow…Now it’s time to get back to work.  Hoping to catch up on my reading for Contracts, then finish Torts for the week and maybe start on an outline or two…

20 September 2005

jaume plensa's "crown fountain"...probably the coolest thing. ever. in the world. ever. Posted by Picasa